Monday, May 18, 2009

One More Cup of Coffee Before I Go, To the Valley Below

i am so lost
i don't know what to do with papua new guinea
i don't get it
it wants something of me, is asking something of me, yet i haven't a clue as to what
this is a very difficult country
it's beautiful i suppose, but there is something fierce under the beauty that is somehow creating resistance on my heart
Ukurumpa is fine, very safe & closed in. a bunch of "whiteskins" from all over the world translating the bible into tribal languages, yet still somehow managing to live very much apart from the nationals
& i tell you in truth, the majority opinion of the papua new guineans is not a nice one
there appears to be no desire to foster a relationship, save for a few.
John & Wendy Bailey.
they have to be a pair of the most loving people I've met in a long time
they're an Irish couple with 3 kids & have heaving hearts of compassion for the papua new guinean people; simply wanting to reach out to the nationals & love them as God loves them
i stand next to John & Wendy, & i feel love & peace, God's spirit truly upon them.

things are not good here in Papua New Guinea
aside from being the country with the highest AIDS & STD rate, there's a lot of violence going on
places aren't safe, so says our U.S. embassy
there are a lot of attacks against Asian families & business owners, why exactly i don't know
Goroka, where we are heading next, is full of violence at the moment
as long as we stay together, & don't wander around late at night, we will be fine
i'm not worried about us though
my worries dwell on the hearts & souls of the papua new guinean people
who will love them? who will fight? who will fall far behind?

why don't i feel joy here? peace here?
i see one thing, yet feel another; it's opposite
i am told one thing, & think another
& at the end of each day, i truly don't know what to think
how to feel
what to say

except that i know i am not meant to live in papua new guinea
i struggle in performing "christian" theatre
& i ache to give the papua new guinean people something real

we go onward up into the mountains tomorrow to Goroka until Saturday
pray for joy, energy, hope, & love
pray for truth amidst the suffering

play a Bob Dylan song for me, he captures life quite nicely at the moment


1 comment:

  1. you're probably home by now. i'll post this anyway.
    there are many places in the world that refuse to be pinned down with a description. i've been praying for you all and loving you from a distance.
    bob dylan is playing now, just for you. mr tambourine man, in fact.
    loves lots!